


you're cold on the inside

by orphan_account



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Gen, Light Angst, Soul Selling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 14:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11511033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yuri sold his soul to become the best in skating.





	you're cold on the inside

**Author's Note:**

> so i signed up for trope bingo a few days ago and ive already written 2 fics and 1 is in the works so thats really great! this was for the prompt "deal with the devil", and of course i had to make yurio sell his soul.
> 
> enjoy!

"If my soul is all it takes to win..."

Yuri takes a long sigh and rolls his shoulders, feeling how empty he is inside out. When he said that he didn't know the truth about Lilia, but being around a demon is as draining as one would expect. His soul is a figment of what it was once— when she pulled it out of his body he'd seen innocence, he'd seen youth, and she'd trap it in a box that was as empty as his body is now.

He doesn't like not feeling anything. He's learnt how to fake emotion, how Otabek is still his friend, but Mila and Georgi notice how something is off. He listens to music as he trains, although he knows the deal makes it useless. He learns various jumps and how to do step sequences as trapping as Katsuki's. His heart beats hard against his chest, but he barely feels tired. It's like all his emotions have been taken out of his chest and replaced with barely anything.

When Viktor and Katsuki come back to Russia, Viktor looks at him with a raised eyebrow and a thoughtful look in his eyes. Yuri scowls, wondering silently if he knows.

They're at practice with Yakov, taking a small break to wind down, when Viktor says something he didn't expect. "I did a deal with her once too, you know."

Yuri's face pales as he looks at him. "Is that how you did what you did?" he says, voice tight. So that's how he got five gold medals in a row, how he won the Olympics without a sweat. He understands.

Viktor nods in silence before looking at the rink. "I asked for it back after Sochi. I felt so depressed— you shouldn't do the same as me, Yurio."

Yuri shivers as he takes his guards off and goes back to the ice. He ends up doing the same, thinking about his deal with Lilia. It makes sense that Yakov divorced her now, it makes sense how she was a world class ballerina. She's a demon, of course she can do whatever she wants and do it well.

He doesn't ask for his soul back for years. He piles up medals and Katsuki looks at him with clenched fists and frowning, not daring to say whatever he wants to say. Does he thinks Yuri's cheating? Does he think Yuri should let him win? He doesn't know. Katsuki is a mystery, a crybaby that manages to capture him with his step sequences still.

His grandpa notices. He asks if something is wrong when he doesn't tell him he loves him, when he doesn't cuddle up next to him in fear of the future. He grows silent, their relationship grows strained, and he knows his grandpa wants to believe it's adolescence. He doesn't suspect he's sold his soul to be the best in skating possible.

Yuri is Russia's new legend. Yuri made a deal with a demon just to become the next Viktor. He feels empty, he doesn't feel anything, but he's on top of the world, and he wants to believe that's all that should matter.

Yuri doesn't ask Lilia about his soul. He fears it's being corrupted inside that box, that it's growing different to how he was once when he was fifteen. At age eighteen he's on top of the world, at age eighteen he hasn't lost a single competition and people believe he's cheating.

He is, he is cheating but not in a way people would expect. He's not being overscored, he's not sucking the ISU's metaphorical dick. He's soulless, which had made him emotionless and a machine on the ice. After three years of having his soul gone, he understands how Viktor did what he did for all those years. He wonders when he sold it, when did it start working like it has for him.

He has many questions, but he doesn't like asking them. He watches from afar as Otabek dates guys and girls, he watches from afar as Katsuki gets married to Viktor, he watches from afar as Mila starts dating other ladies' division figure skater. He doesn't feel jealous— he just feels numb.

He wishes he felt anything, something for someone. Life comes in a whirlwind and all he does is watch and hope he wins his next competition. He does everytime.

His prospects are empty. Winning, winning, one purposeful loss so people stop believing he's cheating for at least a few weeks. He doesn't want to be taken out of competition because of those rumors.

He sighs as he fixes his hair, which has grown down to his back. He likes it— he's learnt to deal with being seen as the Russian fairy, the feminine man who's won competition after competition. He likes how he's seen as soft, delicate on the ice, but he acts ruthless off it.

People ask him how he's so good. He smiles, tells them sucking the ISU's dick will get you anywhere. People quote him, people laugh, people wonder if he's serious.

He just smiles falsely, keeps pretending and feels absolutely nothing. Viktor tells him in whispers that he has to take it back, he shouldn't go this long without his soul inside him, in his ribcage. He tells him to leave him alone, adding a 'hag' afterwards.

Viktor knows he's just keeping his act by being rude without a good reason. Yuri knows he's told Katsuki a little or some of it. He wonders if he wishes he could do the same— how would it be like for two soulless skaters to compete, he wonders. He knows it'd be ruthless, violent, a competition Yuri has never seen before.

He knows he won't be able to live it. He stretches, he fixes his braid and he looks at the stash of medals on his nightstand. Most of them are gold, except for the silver ones at Skate Canada and the Rostelecom Cup. He bites his lip as he texts Otabek.

He wonders if he'll ever have the guts to ask for his soul back, to not be closer and closer to a demon as time goes on. He wanted to win, and now he's won, but he's paid the price.

He closes his eyes. The numbness never leaves, and for once he feels like he's used to it.


End file.
